Posted: 2004-05-21 03:53:00
It’s been less than 48 hours at home, and it feels like I’m just back for another break...which i am, but it’s considerably longer than previous breaks. I’ve been spending time with friends from home, which is good, but then i stay up this late and think about the people from school that i already miss. Visits must commence sooner than i thought.
I start work on monday, into the real world. Did i mention that before? I can’t remember, but it scares me. This job is for real. Not a stupid retail job or something like that, but full on cubicle work with coffee breaks and time clocks.
These days move by like trucks and trains.
Since my room is over the garage, the air-conditioning tends to heat up a bit before entering my room, leaving the air in here a nice 78 degrees and wet as hell. I think the carpet actually feels moist it’s so humid. sleeping sprawled out in boxers tonight. Been a while since i’ve slept unalone...i miss it. if i got in my bed now, i’d be sharing it with a cat, my guitar, and stuffed monkey, two water bottles, a guitar tuner, the shirt that i just took off, and a B and a high E guitar string. I guess it would be cosy, but I was really hoping for a more of a human companion. I’ll let the cat stay.
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Posted: 2004-05-20 00:27:00
So i did it. I left today. Augustana behind me for a long summer of work. I said good bye to a lot of people that I wanted to, but there were also those that i didn’t get to. In keeping secret the things i wanted to say to some, i feel like i’ve left myself suspended there. If i just didn’t say the goodbye for the summer, it would be like i hadn’t left. Silly logic of course, it only makes me regret. but what’s the use of regret? I certainly don’t wish to sit here all summer feeling sad about people left behind. I know i’ll see them again next year... most anyway. Hopefully the ones who matter the most I will be able to visit at some time. Steve and Dawn and Will are all going to Ecuador, so there won’t be much time to see them before they take off.
Last night, i put an away message up on AIM saying to come to my room. a lot of people came and i was really happy. It was the best last night i could have asked for. Steve grabbed my guitar and i the keyboard, and with kev on lead vocals, we rocked out. Sand a song about some girl named suzanne in a spanish class or something. It was good improv lyrics, we were like rappers...minus the bling.
So home, i guess it’s where the heart is, but not the mind. i’ll give it time to set in. make a nice mental ass groove in the couch that is Cary.
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Posted: 2004-05-18 20:47:00
I’ve been avoiding going on the rounds tonight to say goodbye to everyone. It has to be one of the least desirable tasks ever. I also have a good amount of beer in my fridge to finish off before my parents get her tomorrow morning, so I’m taking care of that right now. I promised some people I would learn non-western art history, organic chem, and write a bunch of journals for them by later tonight... I hope they don’t hold me to that.
Good to know that if i ever need attention all i have to do is die
Man, heavy thoughts, i really don’t want to leave everyone here. don’t get me wrong, im gonna be more than happy to get out of the QC. i miss my small town, i miss chicago. man, what a short year. can years actually be shorter than previous years.
A little while ago, I learned that there was an opposite to deja vu, it’s called jamais vu and it’s when someone repetitively does something but each time they think it is the first time they’ve done it. Or at least it feels like it’s the first time you’ve done it. mind blowing.
Is something lovable because one loves it, or is it loved because it’s lovable. Don’t answer right away, think about it.
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Posted: 2004-05-18 14:32:00
Database final at 3...it’s 2:30...I haven’t studied...instead writing this pointless thing...If your body can have three halves (aka thirds) half of me would want to stay here at Augie for the summer, half wants to go home, and half want’s to be going to Ecuador to eat guinea pig. This final shouldn’t take long...not like i have anything to do when i’m done with it. I can’t pack cos i have to boxes, I just told my parents to bring every suitcase we own and i’ll pack in those. I need to stop wearing my blue shoes in the rain, i have way too many pairs of blue dyed socks. Well, here goes, off to the test..i mean EXAM. it’s scarier that way.
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Posted: 2004-05-18 00:42:00
Finals commence tomorrow. I have two and then I’m done. Am supposed to go home wednesday, but I think I might stay till thursday, but not just to get drunk, I have my reasons. Walking home from the library barefoot in the rain was definitely a good idea. Turns out this client I’m writing on has spell check. Good thing, otherwise definitely would have been spelled wrong. Wish me luck on those finals.
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Posted: 2004-05-17 12:48:00
You know, with the digital age in full force, I figured what better way to express my feelings to my friends (ie anyone who has my screen name) than to post them on the internet. A professor of mine from last year in MN always used to say "It should be called the intranet. All it does is close people off." Thanks Dr. Paulson, you crazy acid flashbacking fool.
The school year is comming to a close, but I think that Semi-Sonic put it perfectly in Closing Time "Every new begining comes from some other begining's end." I have deeply enjoyed my first year at Augie, met some incredible people and done some unbelievable things. Who thought I would be in Toronto for spring break, or watch a presentation on Mars drunk out of my mind, or be to the sleeziest truck stop dinner in all of iowa at 3 in the morning...god i love Ross's.
Anyway, I plan on keeping this thing updated with fragments of thoughts, wishes, feelings, and mainly pointless rants. I hope everyone enjoys.
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